


Bad episodes

by astrophelthracius



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Thor - Fandom
Genre: Gah, Mpreg, allusion to Thor/Jane?, here we go again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 20:03:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2520047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrophelthracius/pseuds/astrophelthracius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sense. Antisense</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad episodes

"Sir, please put down the spear" Another blasted creature out of magical blue light? The last time it happened New Mexico was almost leveled to the ground and an alien god joined their planet. Hawk eye was already calculating the amount of repercussions that single sentence had "Sir, that may not be a goo-" "Put down my spear!" The man on the platform scoffed. He had long black hair flowing in the wind, the top part intricately braided with emerald and gold twined in it. He was wearing a battle armor of gold and leather. "I come in peace humans. I am Loki of Asgard, son of King Laufey and consort of the son of Odin. I come to take back the Tessaract and heir of the throne." Loki who as it turns out was the husband of Thor stepped off the platform and made his way towards them, shimmered for a while before his armor disappeared and it's place was an emerald green robe that dragged on the floor, with bell shaped-sleeves that seemed connected to the dress. It was woven with gold linings, emeralds, sapphires and diamond on the shoulder and a gold chest plate sat atop. "Then you have come to the wrong place, we don't know where Thor is and the Tessaract is earth's possession" Fury was annoyed to say the least, Thor hadn't shown neither hair nor hide ever since New Mexico and now this! 

'Loki' looked at them quizzically "Earth's possession? The Tessaract was entrusted by the King Odin to your ancestors and it is listed that it shall be returned when a new king succeeds Odin. Now as for Thor, he is here. Is he not? I'm quite sure he is with his human mistress. However, I do not possess the means to navigate through this world nor do I know Jane Foster's "address" was it? I would do so appreciate it if you would provide me with it." And now this god knows that Thor's cheating on him. Isn't that great? He may seem calm right now but who knows what he'll do when he finds Thor on top of his woman. Is this a bad Olympus tale? Why can't these gods just keep it in their pants! 

Clint grunted in frustration and motioned towards the blue light gathering on the ceiling. "This place is about to blow in a few minutes." Loki clucked his tongue and pointed the sphere towards the mass. Two things happened then- first the mass was sucked into the spear then it fell from the god's hand and Loki crumpled to the ground. Clint caught him before he hit the unforgiving floor with a loud curse. "Now what?" He grunted, the man was heavier than he looked granted he was leaner than Clint first thought, bordering thin even. 

"Now? Now you put him in a contained room and watch him. You report every move he make, even a lift of his pinky finger. And tell Phil to get Romanov to find Thor, how the hell did he get under our radar?" Fury then turned and collected the Tessaract sweeping to the shadows and disappearing god knows where. Ha! God, get it? Haha. No. Clint swept the god's legs from under him before making the security personnel pick up the spear and follow him. No other way to carry the Asgardian with a dress longer than him other than a freaking princess hold. What a headache.

Clint laid Loki onto a soft bed, the room looked like a normal hotel room but it was nuclear attack proof. The windows were thick as hell and lined with state of the art shock absorbers, element proof and security techs. The walls were steel and concrete padded with radiation absorbers and various equipments, the door was thick, heavy and secured but looked normal otherwise. Why SHIELD had something like this, Clint never knew. Somebody must've thought of where to put a royal consort when he visits. 

The archer sighed as he opened the ventilation duct, as expected it had fucking machines for shit blocking the opening. He replaced the cover and opted to sit on top of the closet. He'd been sitting for more than a few hours and he was so bored. This was worse than any stakeout he'd ever done. He dialed Romanov's number after making sure that Loki would stay asleep, unconscious? Fuck it. 

"Nat, please tell me you found Thor. I think I'm getting cabin fever in here" Clint looked up as Loki bolted up, the spear flew towards his hands immediately and the god looked around him. Finally looking up, his eyes zeroed in on the archer like he was locking on a target. His eyes were a deep shade of emerald green with gold and silver flecks on them. They were beautiful

"-eye, hawk eye! CLINT!" Clint was startled out of his stupor then. He blushed when he realized he had been staring and Loki just snorted. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm here, Loki just woke up" 

"Alright, whatever. Thor's in Jane's place, up in New Mexico. In the town where the dimension seal was burned. Their in the house on the outskirts of town you won't miss it, it's the only house out that far." The call ended right after that.

"So, they found Thor..."Clint didn't know what to do or how to tell this man that his husband was indeed fucking around.

"Bring us to them then. Quickly, I have lost much time." There was a hint of aggression in the ever calm face. Loki looked worse for wear even though he had just slept but Clint got the hint. This God would be tearing apart the earth if he didn't reach Thor right now so Clint packed up and they were in a quintjet and in New Mexico in a matter of a few hours. 

Sweat was pooling on Clint's collar. He just rang the bell to Jane foster's house and there were giggles and quite a ruckus inside. He knew exactly what Thor and Jane had been up to before they rang and the archer didn't know how this would go over once the door opens. Fuck! It was like a bad episode of desperate housewives or something. 

Finally the door opened and Jane was at the door, hair mussed and clothes disheveled. "Who wishes to enter the house?" A deep voice boomed, Thor then. 

Jane looked a bit confused and after a few moments Thor peeked out. His postured turned stiff the moment his eyes landed on Loki. The man just gaped at Loki for the first few seconds; maybe surprise? Confusion? But definitely with a hint of desire "Loki, I am..surprised. Has something untoward occurred?" 

"Yes, the Odinsleep has come and you have a son. Cassius was taken by Thanos and Odin wants you home to take over while he is in Odinsleep. Heimdall is ready to take you anytime you wish." Thor honest to god looked surprise. Mouth open, wide-eyed surprised. 

"Taken? You are jesting are you not? And who in Hel's name is Cassius?" Thor sounded furious at Loki. He was grabbing at Loki's bicep, shaking him and Loki was just looking at him with empty eyes. 

"He is your son. But you would know not of that, now would you? You take your shadow and escape to Midgard the moment you are able to. Odin has ordered me to persuade you to come home. He believes that Thanos would come for you next. Your death would leave Asgard defenseless and heirless. I have relayed his message, I must go now." Thor was dumbfounded and Loki took the moment to shrug off his hand. Turning to leave, to go...somewhere. Loki was down the porch and walking into the fucking sunset and Thor was still frozen. Jane looked like she was slapped in the face and Clint just didn't understand what just went on. 

"Loki! Halt!" Thor growled. A son now?

"Thor, I have neither the time nor desire to fight with you. Tell me what you want and be quick about it" Loki's actions seemed sluggish and Thor noticed it. 

"How did this happen? Is he alive? When was he even born? Why was I not informed?" Thor was almost shouting, hands on Loki's shoulders shaking him.

Loki just grimaced "stop shaking me you oaf. He was born yesterday and Thanos was inside the birthing room for a reason I know not but surely he is planning something sinister. He is alive yet, I can feel my son" 

Thor couldn't stop the roar that came from him, it was partly animal of him. "Have you lost your sanity?! You had him yesterday and you're walking around and using magic? Even mother with her hard headedness wasn't foolish enough to try this! Come and I shall take you home to rest. We'll make a plan there. " Thor tried to drag Loki but his brother turned on him with vivacious eyes "Plan what? How were going to find him? If he's worth the sacrifice to Thanos? Maybe I have lost my sanity but I would not stand for that bastard holding my son any longer!" Then promptly disappeared from his hand only to reappear a few steps away from the thunder god and crumple to the ground. 

"Loki!" Thor moved beside Loki as he checked for his pulse. The jotun was clammy, bluish as if his magic couldn't hold, and colder than he normally was. "Clint! You must take us immediately to the son of coul for my consort needs attendance." Clint still didn't understand the circumstances but he dialed S.H.I.E.L.D and the hub took Thor and Loki along with Clint after Thor bid jane goodbye and got a slap in the face. 

Fitzsimmons were onto Loki, laying him down on the medical bed before scanning his body using their little flying critters. Fitz removed Loki's armor without any incident but the moment he touched Loki's collar Thor flew into rage. "Do not touch my consort you cretin!" Wait what? Thor just literally had sex with Jane and what? Just. What.

Simmons looked at him with a scandalous expression "Mr. Odinson, there is hemorrhaging in his lower extremities that we must deal with. I would prefer to deal with it as quickly as possible and if you would notice he is too heavy for me to lift, either Fitz here will get the patient undressed or you will but one way or another he needs to be treated now." Wow. Simmons had some serious balls

Fitz moved Loki's collar down a little bit more and Thor plucked his hand off and pushed him to the general direction of the door, growling and muttering. "I want everybody out except for the healer." People filed out one by one including Fitz whom Thor glared at while caressing Loki's collar as if he were erasing some bad stain. Way to be subtle Thor. 

 

Unbeknownst to him humans had a little magic equipment called plated cameras which were everywhere in the room. It was really sad that they had to resort to this but it was just one more naked body and they couldn't compromise the ship. Admittedly everybody was also curious so they all filed into coulson's office; Sam, May, trip, ward, Clint, Fitz, and some unknown muscly guy.

Loki's body was enticing, he was lean, white, proportional, quite curvy for a man and he had some unfathomable allure. Surprisingly enough Simmons covered his legs before pulling them up. Thor was just pacing beside Loki


End file.
